It's so refreshing that time is passing and there is more time between me and the craziness that happened in December. I'm grateful for how far i've come and all the help from doctors, therapists, and family members that have helped so much with recovery!
Here's what I've been up to this last month:
-Major head and neck pain and so nauseous most days, it really takes a toll on my YOLO eat everything motto.
-Still weak but getting stronger every day. 💪
-I have really bad days and better days. I try not to say good anymore because well it’s not. Haha
-Get very emotional, angry, upset over little things.
-Have had a few moments where I feel completely like myself. No pain or sadness-it’s awesome. Praying I have more and more of those moments-and as time passes I really do!! Prayers are answered my friends.
-Went back to the hospital to say “thanks for keeping me alive” and deliver treats. It was so surreal to walk in there!! I gave some thank you notes to my favorite doctors and nurses. I was there for quite some time so I really “got to know” a few people, as well as you can get to know people while sleeping at least half the day and having your poor brain recover from so much trauma! I saw the adorable lady that cleaned my hospital room and I asked her to watch White Christmas with me while I was in the ICU in December. I gave her a hug and told her we still needed to watch White Christmas together and to make sure she got a cupcake in the break room. 😂
-Graduated from occupational therapy.
-Alone with Olivia more and more during the day-my Mom the saint, still comes every day. Trying to mom hard.
-I have the most intense doctor appointment next week and I’m seriously so anxious for it!! Neurologists are NO JOKE!
-Walk up and down the stair consistently with no hands. 👏
-Basically do everything I use to-it’s amazing really! I shouldn’t be doing any of this and I’m almost all the way back to normal!! It’s so crazy and cool!!
-People surprise me. The people that are kind and put a smile on my face make me realize there’s still good in the world. Random acts of kindness are really so sweet and appreciated!
-I think a lot of what I’m working through now is fear, exhaustion and mental things (obviously). I have major FOMO but am always tired so I don't want to take a nap or relax. I fear the unknown and bad things happening, like anyone really, I just take it VERY literally now. I worry if I’m capable to do daily tasks. My confidence is growing and I'm trying to remind myself to be patient and that I can do hard things. That was my motto in the hospital and I still say it to myself all the time.
Can’t believe it but this might be the last recovery update. We'll see how it goes but It’s seriously insane to me. It’s only been two months and I’ve recovered SO much! I never would have chosen this but boy is this quite the adventure. It’s cool to try things I use to do and still be able to do them. Yeah I get frustrated and really sad sometimes but it’s kind of expected so I try not to dwell on that too much. Like I told my YW class a few weeks ago life is really a journey. It’s ok to not like some parts of it but if you keep your heavenly home as your destination you’ll remember this is a pretty great adventure. If we change our thoughts we can change our lives. I've been really trying to work on this and its REALLY hard, but I know that our thoughts really do make such a difference. I’m in a place in my journey that I’m not really loving where I’m at but that’s ok because I know where I’m going!
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